Aimee and I spent a few days exploring Singapore. Singapore, the home of Tiger Beer and Tiger Balm!
Singapore is an island nation located at the southern tip of the Malay Peninsula. It lies 137 kilometres (85 mi) north of the equator, south of the Malaysian state of
Johor and north of Indonesia's
Riau Islands. At 704.0 km (272 sq mi), it is one of the few remaining city-states in the world and the smallest country in Southeast Asia. Singapore became a self-governing state within the British Empire in 1959 with
Yusof bin
Ishak as its first Yang
di-
Pertuan Negara and Lee
Kuan Yew as its first Prime Minister. It declared independence from Britain in August 1963, before joining the Federation of Malaysia in September as the result of the 1962 Merger Referendum of Singapore. Singapore left the federation two years later after heated ideological conflict between the state's PAP government and the federal
Kuala Lumpur government. Singapore officially gained sovereignty on 9 August 1965.
Yusof bin
Ishak was sworn in as the first President of Singapore and Lee
Kuan Yew remained Prime Minister.
Although Singapore's laws are inherited from British and British Indian laws, including many elements of English common law, the PAP has also consistently rejected liberal democratic values, which it typifies as Western and states there should not be a 'one-size-fits-all' solution to a democracy. There are no jury trials. Laws restricting the freedom of speech are justified by claims that they are intended to prohibit speech that may breed ill will or cause disharmony within Singapore's multiracial, multi-religious society. For example, in September 2005, three
bloggers were convicted of sedition for posting racist remarks targeting minorities. Some offences can lead to heavy fines or caning (caning is a physical punishment consisting of a number of hits (known as "strokes" or "cuts") with a wooden cane, generally applied to the bare or clad buttocks, shoulders, hand(s) (palm, rarely knuckles) or the soles of the feet), and there are laws which allow capital punishment in Singapore for first-degree murder and drug trafficking. Amnesty International has criticised Singapore for having "possibly the highest execution rate in the world" per
capita. The Singapore government argues that there is no international consensus on the appropriateness of the death penalty and that Singapore has the sovereign right to determine its own judicial system and impose capital punishment for the most serious crimes.
Reading this you might be thinking, "wow, Singapore is a pretty harsh place". The laws are extreme, the punishments for crimes are extreme but when you take these things into account, and if you're a law bidding citizen, Singapore is probably the safest place I've ever travelled to. Or at least, Singapore feels like it's the safest place. I read the newspaper every morning while I was there and saw no articles or news about crime. Nothing. I'm sure it exists but from my viewpoint I didn't see any. Singapore is also an insanely clean place. You can practically eat off the sidewalk. The fines/punishments for littering are so extreme that no body seems to do it.
I really enjoyed my time in Singapore. It may not have the ancient history of other Asian countries but it does have its own quaint personality. From a tourist perspective I noticed Singapore is pretty much made up of sightseeing, places to eat, a few museums, and a whole mess of theme parks. Singapore's main income comes from tourism so they've built various themed places for tourists to go. Here are some things we saw while there:
This is the
Merlion, Singapore's national symbol. Half lion, half fish. There are five official
Merlions in Singapore approved by the Singapore Tourism Board. The largest is on the island of
Sentosa.
The building behind Aimee and I is called the Esplanade. There are two of these duplicate buildings side by side. They are used for live theatre and performances. The locals affectionately nicknamed these buildings the
Durian Buildings because of their close appearance to the fruit. Don't believe me? Look at the photo below:
Ah, great
durian ... the stinky rotten cheese fruit passionately loved in Asia!
Aimee and I decided to take a walking tour of Little India. Walking around Little India really opened my eyes about how multicultural Singapore is. They call it 'Little India', and it is primarily Indian, but you still see a wonderful mosaic of other cultures. This photo is a good example of this. In the middle of Little India I saw this Chinese-themed display. Actually, the only thing in this photo that shows it's Little India is the two Indian fellows in the foreground.
The following are several photos taken around Little India:
Our travels in Little India brought us to this mosque.
We took off our shoes, screamed as our naked feet hit the frying pavement, and walked quickly to the inside of the mosque.
While inside we were treated to a short tour and a summarized lesson about the Muslim faith. It was an educational experience but sadly due to the Imam's (Muslin Priest) thick accent I only understood 75% of the lecture. After he finished talking he quickly left leaving me wondering what the missing 25% was. I scratched my head in confusion and decided to try to fill in the blanks. Maybe it's this 25% of blanks being filled that's causing all the religious issues in the world?
Next stop,
Sentosa Island!
Sentosa, which means peace and tranquillity in Malay, is a popular island resort in Singapore, visited by some five million people a year. Attractions include a two-kilometre long sheltered beach, Fort
Siloso, Underwater World, two golf courses and two five-star hotels.
To get to
Sentosa you have to take a gondola ride from the mainland. As you approach the island you're welcomed by this giant
Merlion. At 37m/121ft, this is the tallest version of the half-lion, half-fish.
We decided to join a bus tour to see some of the sights of
Sentosa. Our bus tour included a guide and I must say, our guide was more entertaining than
Sentosa itself. Our guide was extremely gay, and extremely stressed. Do you remember the movie
Father of the Bride (the remake) and in that movie Martin Short played an overly stereotypical gay wedding planner? If you were to take that character, make him
Malayian, and then give him a
Singaporian accent, you would have our guide. He was stressed because it was not only a weekend but a holiday as well so they were overloaded with tourists. As he attempted to collect every person part of his tour together he screamed out in a high and squeaky voice, "Everyone with me here, everyone who's with me here." We all gathered around him and then he quickly walked us to the bus. And I mean quickly. I saw old Grandma's running to catch up with him. We got on the bus and were taken to our first stop: Dolphin Lagoon. Dolphin Lagoon is basically an outdoor dolphin show. Did I say it was outdoor? Oh yes, outdoor and pouring rain. It's hard to enjoy a dolphin show when you're getting drenched wet in the rain like a dolphin. I ran into the gift shop and paid an insane amount of money for a
Singaporian themed umbrella which sadly broke as soon as I opened it. I ran back to the gift shop, got a replacement, opened the umbrella, located Aimee and
attemped to enjoy the dolphin show while being smacked in the head by the umbrellas attached to short people. Needless to say, Dolphin Lagoon wasn't going to go down in my travel book of favourite places.
The show ended and we met at our designated meeting spot. We were greeted with another round of,
"Everyone with me here" and followed our guide back to the bus. During the bus ride I could tell our guide was relaxing a bit. He started to tell jokes and odd jokes they were. Our next stop was going to be an
oceanarium (the new hip way of saying aquarium) called Underwater World and our guide jokingly asked us all to go see the manatee and tell him who is more sexy, him or the manatee. Obviously he was joking but it seemed he was the only one laughing (giggling obsessively actually). We stopped at Underwater World and got off.
Underwater World is Asia's largest tropical
oceanarium showcasing some 2500 marine life from 250 species from around the regions and one of Singapore's most popular tourist attractions. Once you reach the bottom level of the
oceanarium you step onto a moving sidewalk that takes you through a 83-meter long underwater tunnel. I stood there in awe of all the species of sea life in front of me and then I was greeted by the prize of my visit: the manatee...
Hello Miss Manatee! I remembered back to what our travel guide said,
who is more sexy. I couldn't decide given the choices I was given: a sea mammal or a homosexual tour guide? Who is more sexy? I figured it was best to just play dumb if our guide repeated the question. After all, it was probably just a one-off joke right? He wouldn't ask that again would he? Well, once we got back to the bus he did ask. The bus went quiet. Deadly quiet. I noticed I wasn't alone in my quest to play dumb. Everyone was playing dumb. After what seemed like an eternity of uncomfortable silence are bus started up and we moved on to our next destination: The Extreme Log Ride!
No wait, you need to say it like this in a deep voice: THE EXTREME LOG RIDE!
The Extreme Log Ride is a 4-dimensional ride that will tickle all your senses. In theory at least; that's if it worked properly. While we were waiting in the line up I saw a poster advertising the ride this way:
Sit tight! These Super-Trees that are grown in a 'Super World' will rush down ravines and gush through deep caves, crocodiles and danger awaits you at every turn! Will you make it to the harvesting plant? Hang on and find out!Finally after 40 minutes of waiting we were at the front of the line and it was our turn to go inside. We found ourselves in yet another waiting room only at least this time they entertained us with a music and light show. After 15 minutes of that we were finally allowed into the coveted area of the EXTREME LOG RIDE. We were given 3-D glasses and rushed to grab our seats. The seats were inside these little spaceship-looking-things that sat 6 people per car. Aimee and I weren't fast enough so we ended up sitting in seats way at the back. Mostly because we were following a group of 4 people who couldn't seem to decided who they wanted to sit beside. Their group kept reorganizing themselves while Aimee and I waited. After they were finally happy with their seating arrangement Aimee and I noticed they sat in a way that didn't allow us to sit together. We politely asked them to reorganize themselves again so there would be two seats side by side. Thankfully they did. Aimee and I sat together, buckled up our seat belts, and excitedly waited for the EXTREME LOG RIDE. A female host came out and gave us all a brief list or rules and once that was complete she lowered her voice into a deep growl and said, "All aboard the
EXTREME LOG RIDE". The lights dimmed, and with our 3-D glasses on the show started.
In the show you're sitting on a log as it goes through various areas of a forest. You're cut in half by saws, you're rushing down rivers, you're being attacked by crocodiles... While all this is happening, in 3-D, our spaceship-thing moves with the motion you see on the screen. It was an amazing ride - well - until it started breaking down. The first viewing went on for about five minutes. I noticed after the five minute mark that our spaceship-thing stopped moving. I looked at the other spaceship-things and notice they too had stopped. The lights came up and the host came out and said there was a minor error and the
EXTREME LOG RIDE will start again - from the start. The lights dimmed and we were brought back to the beginning of the show. This time we got through three minutes of the ride when I noticed everything on the screen was going blurry. My first thought was my contacts were dry and I wasn't seeing properly. I took off the 3-D glasses and looked around. Everything else seemed to be in focus (from what I could gather sitting in the dark). I whispered to Aimee, "Hey, do you see something weird about the screen?" She replied, "Oh yeah, I thought it was my contacts." Once again the lights came back up. The host came out and said, "Sorry, there was another error please stay tuned we will restart the
EXTREME LOG RIDE from the start." The lights went down again and we were once again we were brought back to the beginning. We got through four minutes this time. This time she said, "it looks like someone detached their seatbelt during the ride. Please keep your seatbelts fassoned. We will restart the
EXTREME LOG RIDE shortly." The audience were all looking around trying to figure out (and beat) the person who unfassoned their seatbelt. Finally, the ride started up again. This time we got through two minutes before everything stopped and the lights came up. The host came out again and this time she said in a pissed off tone,
"you SEE what happens when you remove your seatbelt. Now we need to start from the beginning again." I could see the audience all suspiciously looking at each other. But I could also see a 'People Power' movement forming. Everyone, almost in unison, started up blurting out things like, "It's not us, IT'S YOU", "We're not doing anything", "We're all innocent, really", but the main thing I heard was, "Can we please just leave now?" Unfortnuately our spaceship-things had a door that locked you in once you entered. We were all trapped. The lights dimmed and the show started again from, you guessed it, the beginning. Two minutes this time before it stopped. The lights came up and I saw a small man in a red jumpsuit run into the theatre and slide under the spaceship beside us. The people who saw him were all saying things like, "hey you, what's happening?" or "What are you doing, can we please just go home now?" You could barely see him under the car and he didn't answer, The doors to the spaceships remained closed. The lights started to dim and this time the error involved the spaceship doors opening just as the show started. Aimee and I saw people taking advantage of this by rushing through the doors and sprinting towards the exit. Aimee and I followed. As we were running we heard the host say, "you are free to leave if you wish but if you stay, get ready to be thrilled by the
EXTREME LOG RIDE!!" I could see the expression of most people. The expression was, "Screw you lady," and we all bolted out the exit. I did notice though that 20% of the audience remained. I guess they truly were enjoying the EXTREME LOG RIDE!!
The EXTREME LOG RIDE was the last sight of our Sentosa tour. We hopped back on the gondula and headed back to the mainland. That night we went and saw the Night Safari.
Indiana Kenn says, "I really enjoyed the Night Safari."
Nestled in 40 hectares of lush secondary forest, the Night Safari offers guests the unique experience of exploring wildlife in a tropical jungle at night. Through the use of subtle lighting technique, guests are able to view over 1,000 nocturnal animals of 100 species in vast naturalistic habitats. It's the first in the world apparently. You are given the choice between taking one of the walking tours around the safari or riding on a tram that covers more area than the walking tour. We decided to do a little bit of both.
All aboard!
The trouble with a safari at night you see is it's at night right, so it's dark right, so unfortunately, I couldn't take a whole lot of photographs. Flash photography was banned understandably because it annoys and scares the animals but that still didn't stop the odd person from trying to sneak a flash shot by when the guide wasn't looking. Obviously the morons didn't realize that's it's impossibe to 'sneak' a picture with a flash by in a dark area. Everything lights up! One person tried three times and each time our guide told them to stop it. The flashed was blinding and if the animals weren't annoyed I certainly was.
The tram ride took us passed lions, elephants, wolves, and sorts of animals. Most of the dangerous animals were separated from us by only a ditch. The more peaceful animals were allowed to walk up to the tram if they wanted. Everything about the Night Safari reminded be of the movie Jurasic Park. Thankfully during our trip there, no one got eaten.
During one of the walking tours I found myself face to face with a fruit bat. I've never seen on so close before. I looked at him, he looked at me. He seemed to nibble on his apple more agressively the close I got. I was able to stare at this guy from a distance of only 2 feet. Amazing. Say what you will about bats, but I think they're kind of cute.
Aimee saw this hat and begged me to take a picture of her. Begged me! It was uncomfortable actually. I don't know why she was so passionate about wearing this hat....
...oh, okay, I admit it, I was the one doing all the begging. But I really wanted a photo of her in an elephant hat. It's a bit of a dream of mine actually.
Elephant hat photo with wife: check!
Bye bye Singapore, you were a great place to visit and we loved everything about you except the...
... EXTREME LOG RIDE!!
Yes, there are several rude finger profanities going on in this photo. Please don't judge us; we can't help it! We're five grown men out on an evening of drinking without our wives around to keep us sane and respectable! The book Lord of the Flies comes to mind...
Imagine if Hello Kitty had a birthday party and wanted to invite only characters that looked like her; the Vancouver 2010 Olympics mascots would definitely be getting an invitation for that party! I'm sure Hello Kitty would be mailing off some invitations to the mascots of the 2008 Beijing Olympics too!
I think there's a bit of a conspiracy here. Expo Ernie isn't actually a real robot. I think Expo Ernie is actually Hello Kitty in a space suit.
See, absolutely no difference!
What a charming pair we are!
