Toilet Heaven & Toilet Hell

Now I'm not the kind of person who makes a big deal about toilets. You use them privately and you don't generally talk about the experience with others. I'm breaking the 'unspoken toilet rule' for this blog.

Upon checking into our hotel in Taipei I noticed we were given an executive suite. A beautiful and spacious one bedroom hotel room that had a separate living room area, bedroom area, walk in closet, and two bathrooms. The master bathroom even had an amazing shower with separate bathtub. If all this wasn't amazing enough I was totally blown away when I went over to use the toilet.
The toilet was computerized! It had a heated seat that was temperature controlled!

On the control panel you adjusted the temperature. Once you completed your messy business there was a choice between either a front or a back spout of water that came out to wash your backside. The water that came out of this spout was also temperature controlled with the added bonus of being able to control the pressure of the water. If that wasn't thrilling enough there was a temperature controlled blow dryer that dried the water off your freshly washed bottom. It's like a spa for your bum!

Normally all this awesome bum spa treatment is something I'd talk about privately with Aimee and only Aimee but I bring it up here because once we left the protective fortress of the posh hotel bathroom I had to use the toilet below:

What the hell is this? No heated toilet seat. NO TOILET SEAT AT ALL! No temperature controlled water kindly washing your nether regions. Nothing. The only water that comes close to washing your backside is the water that voilently splashes everywhere once you flush the damn thing.

The next time you're in a public washroom and the toilet seat is slightly dirty, consider yourself lucky my friends. You're in the world of luxury in comparison to THIS!