My Pinoy Shop

Apparently I have a chain of gift shops here in the Philippines. I'm honored the Philippine people love me so much to open these Ken-branded gift shops but don't they know my name is trademarked? Well, I suppose I'll let this pass. No need to call in the lawyers especially considering they left out the extra N (IE: Kenn).

There's a fleet of taxi cabs here called KenKen.

Like the Ken Gift Express I think these taxis are swimming in dangerous legal waters. In both cases if either of these businesses were to slap on that additional N I'd sue their pants off. I don't want money, I just think that if you're naming a business after me you should represent me in some way. The best way to do this? I think adding a life-sized cardboard cutout of me in front of each store or in the passenger seat of every taxi should suffice. It's all about fairness!

If you look at the top right of this blog you will see a photo of a jeepney called the Kenspanker. I think, legally, I should own that too. My sales pitch would be, 'free spanking with every ride.'. Now, wouldn't that be something for the tourists to talk to their friends and family about! 'Those Filipinos are really friendly, I got a free spanking from some white Canadian guy!'

Guangzhou Safety

Subway safety is an important matter to think about and the subway system in Guangzhou, China is no different.  It’s pretty common to find the subway systems of the world plastering warning and rules signs all over the place telling you what is and what is not allowed.  The sign below from Guangzhou is pretty firm with its rules:

 

NO SMOKING

NO POISONOUS OR FLAMMABLE LIQUIDS.

NO PETS…

NO BALLOON…

…

???

Huh?  And it’s not just any balloons, it’s apparently Mickey Mouse balloons that are the real dangerous threat!  How is it possible that something as pure, happy, and exciting as a balloon can get such a bad reputation?   How did this happen?  I know from my own experience I’ve always had an issue with balloon animals but it’s not the balloons that were the issue but the clown mutating those poor balloons that frightened me.  Maybe this is Guangzhou’s reasoning: if you keep the balloons away then you keep the creepy clowns away.  Clowns are frightening; there is something unnatural about anyone forcing you to be happy.  Keep those freaky clowns off the subway, that’s what I say!  Well done Guangzhou!

Bangkok - Random Thoughts

I've collected together a series of random photos I took throughout Bangkok. This post is to compliment the other Bangkok posts I wrote previously. Only this one, as I said, is completely random stuff that I wanted to put into a blog but didn't know where. So here you are my Blogging Buddies, random Bangkok photos:

Taxis. I loved the colour of the taxi cabs in Bangkok. Unlike other cities that seem to stick with the standard yellow taxi cab norm Bangkok brightens things up a bit. Their cabs are bright pinks, neon greens, and bright sunny orange colours. Driving in these cabs was quite the experience too... not due to the bright colours of the cabs, but the interaction we had with the cab drivers. Taking a cab within the Bangkok city central is a pleasing and uncomplicated experience. But, on the other hand, as soon as you tell the cab driver you want to travel outside of Bangkok's city limits it became an endless battle involving the price of the cab fees. Most of the time they use the meter. Easy: the meter tells you what you owe. But if the destination you were requesting is far away, the cab drivers would start quoting prices and refusing to the use the meter. The reason behind this? Well, in the cab driver's mind they see the trip as a one way fair. They think that once they drop you off at that far destination then there's no one to pay for the trip back. The prices they quote cover both trips. A good example of this is driving to and from the airport. The airport is far from Bangkok central so the cabbie always, in my experience at least, refuse to use the meter and start yelling out fees like, "300 baht, pay 300 baht." I found out later that if the meter was used, the price was slightly over 100 baht. It was annoyingly funny how the cab driver who was taking us back to the airport was justifying the fee by saying, "Oh, airport so far. So very far. So so far ... tsk tsk ... no meter needed ... 300 baht, it's good for you, it's good for me!" I don't know how it's good for me if I'm being ripped off. If he was trying to ease my mind he wasn't doing a very good job.


This is a tuk-tuk (pronounced took-took). The tuk-tuk is the Southeast Asian version of a vehicle known elsewhere as an auto rickshaw or cabin cycle. It is a widely used form of urban transport in Bangkok and other Thai cities, as well as other major Southeast Asian and South Asian cities. It is particularly popular where traffic congestion is a major problem, such as in Bangkok.

Tuk-tuk parking lot!

Aimee proudly posing by a tuk-tuk.

National Museum Bangkok.

The National Museum Bangkok in the city of Bangkok features exhibits of Thai art and history. The museum was established and opened in 1874 by King Rama V to exhibit relics from the rule of King Rama IV's rule. Today the galleries contain exhibits covering Thai History back to Neolithic times. It is stated as being the largest museum in Southeast Asia.

The museum consists of a large courtyard that houses various ancient and recent buildings and architecture. In these buildings are 19 galleries showcasing all areas of Thai history through information and artifacts. Most of the photos I took were from outside the buildings since interior photo taking was forbidden in most galleries.

These creatures, called the Garuda, is a mythical figure with a human torso and arms, a demonic face and a bird's legs, wings and tail. They are the National Emblem (National Symbol) of Thailand. The Garuda is a figure from both Buddhist and Hindu mythology. In Thailand, this figure is used as a symbol of the royal family and authority.

Although there was a huge sign beside this Buddha statue telling me not to take photos, I quickly took one anyhow. Why did I brave such villainy? No reason, I just liked the statue and wanted a picture ... no villainy intended.

The main building at the museum told the story of Thailand's history. The history was told through the use of Thai action figures! Yeah, I know they're called miniatures or better yet, dioramas, but in my world they're called action figures!

Thailand, like most countries, has had a bloody history (which I can't summarize for you here). Lots of wars, lots of battles... But what I found so intriguing about their battles is the involvement of elephants! Imagine that, elephants! Forget the horses, bring in the elephants!
Let's add a few elephants to a Western movie. There's nothing more satisfying than riding your elephant off into the sunset.

Aimee and a Garuda.

After the National Museum we took a boat ride on the Chao Phraya River...

The cities along the Chao Phraya are Nakhon Sawan, Uthai Thani, Chainat, Singburi, Ang Thong, Ayutthaya, Pathum Thani, Nonthaburi, Bangkok and Samut Prakan, listed from north to south. These cities are among the most historically significant and densely populated settlements of Thailand precisely because of their access to the waterway.

Touring Bangkok via the Chao Phraya River is an excellent way of seeing the city from a completely fresh new viewpoint. From the river you can see 10 different Wats (temples) as well as the Grand Palace.

While travelling down the river I saw this huge sign. Okay, let's see how many of you know Thailand ... which extremely famous person is featured on this sign?

Tick
Tick
Tick...

Okay, times up! If you guessed Thailand's King, King Bhumibol, you are correct!

King Bhumibol rose to the throne in 1946, after the unexplained shooting of his brother, King Ananda Mahidol. At 18 and with no training for his new task, Bhumibol promised to "reign with righteousness for the benefit and happiness of the Siamese people." He has done so. And the response he gets from his people in rural Thailand today is almost beyond the understanding of the Western mind: Thai villagers lay down handkerchiefs for him to walk on and then they save the scraps of cloth with his footprint in shrines at their homes. He is a beloved king in Thailand, and you will see photos, billboards, signs and references of him all over!


On many streets you will see images of him.

Asiaweek magazine recently described the place of the Thai royal family in the life of the nation:

"It is probably safe to say that no monarch in the world is as popular as King Bhumibol. Or so revered. Or so present. His portrait hangs in virtually every home and office in the land, a kind of benevolent father watching over his children. Every night all TV channels run footage of royal family members attending official functions. Some, such as visits by foreign heads of state, are clearly significant; others would make little television sense anywhere else. But, as former premier Anand Panyarachun says, over the years the King has earned the admiration of his people in a manner that cannot be fully comprehended by foreigners.

We leave Bangkok now with a photo of two cats. Why cats? Why not I say ... why not ... there's always room for a few cats in every blog.

Next stop, Singapore!

Manila Metro Rail Transit System

The Manila Metro Rail Transit System, popularly known as the MRT, Metrostar Express or Metrostar, is part of the metropolitan rail system in the Metro Manila area of the Philippines.

Now you're probably asking yourself why I'm doing a blog about something as common as public transportation. Especially something as common as a subway system. You may be wondering what's so special about this train system. Every major city in the world has one. What makes Manila's system worthy of a blog? Well, the only reason I'm writing a blog about it is because I've never been on it. I've been coming to the Philippines since 2001 and I've never, ever, taken their train. I just think this is odd since every other major city I've been to in the world I've always made the effort to take the train. So here I am, living in the Philippines, my new home turf, and I've never taken the train. Well, today, I've decided to fix this problem! I'm taking the train!

I bought my ticket from the teller. The route I chose will take me from the first station all the way to the end. That's a total of 13 stations and 16.95 km. How much did the ticket cost? A mere 15 peso (that's 13 cents CDN. Wow!) My travels start at Taft Avenue Station.

I noticed while I was waiting for the train that there is a dedicated section on the train for elderly, female, children or disabled passengers. I found out the dedicated area was implemented after several groping instances occurred on the packed trains during rush hour. Now women can be in their own section. I do wonder though if 'elderly' refers to older men as well. What's stopping a dirty old man from going into the woman's private section and start a little groping?

The train arrives and I get on.

Here's a picture of me overjoyed to be finally on the Manila train. The ride was smooth. It's a nice train system. I was happy to see me and my train whizzing by all the traffic on the street below. If you were to take this same route by car it would probably take you close to an hour and a half during normal insane Manila traffic conditions. How long did the train ride take?

I arrived at my final, North Avenue Station, stop and got out. I took this photo as I walked up the stairs to leave the station. I looked at my watch and noticed the ride took just under 30 minutes. Taking the train is definitely faster than by car. Once I reached the top of the stairs I noticed another train arriving in the direction I needed to go in order to get back to Taft Avenue. I ran down and hopped onto that train.

Here's a picture of me on my way back. It's not the best photo of me but the only reason I'm including it in this blog is because of all the people behind me. Look how they're looking at me. Isn't it disturbing? It's almost like they're never seen a Canadian guy on their train system before. Or maybe, just maybe, I've been oblivious to the stares all this time. Maybe people are always looking at me this way? Could it be possible, I've just never noticed this before? So disturbing... I feel a little paranoid. First the cocks are staring at me now the Filipinos. It's enough to make a poor Canadian guy go buggy.

When I finally arrived back at Taft Avenue Station I discovered I was able to leave without paying for the return trip. Since I never left the station at North Avenue Station my ticket still worked. That's 13 cents CDN for a roundtrip train ticket. So cheap!

Honking

I've written a few blogs about the insane traffic conditions here in the Philippines, but I've never written anything about car horns. Car horns are an interesting topic. The horn itself isn't that interesting but the meaning behind the honk is worth looking at.

Honking in Canada seems to be connected with aggression. People that honk tend to be annoyed, or worse, suffering from road rage. If you get honked at in Canada you tend to immediately go on the defensive. You start wondering why you're being honked at. If you can't figure out why the honk happened you automatically assume the honker is an asshole. There's no debate here, the honker is an asshole.

If horns could talk, here's what they would be saying in both Canada and the Philippines:

CANADA: "You asshole. You cut me off. You're driving too slow and I hate you. I HATE YOU."

See, it's all about aggression.

Now let's look at the Philippines:

PHILIPPINES: "Excuse me friend, how are you? I can't help but notice that you're driving a touch too close to me. If you don't mind, and if it isn't any trouble, please move slightly to the left. Thank you Sir, have a wonderful day and God bless."

If you were to do a study of traffic conditions in the world and pick a place where road rage should be happening it's here in the Philippines. People don't follow the lanes. People swerve their cars constantly. People run red lights. People tailgate. People cut you off. People block traffic entirely by doing a U-Turn. People drive slowly while texting on the phone. Busses and jeepneys stop in the middle of the road to left people off which causes huge traffic jams. All these things are incredibly annoying. It annoys me just thinking about it. But here's the funny thing: road rage doesn't exist here. Not at all. Why is that?

I think it's all about the mindset. Filipinos use the car horn as an extended form of communication. It's like a 'hello'. They honk even when it's not necessary to honk. They could be the only car on the road in the middle of the night and they would still honk. The horns add a happy vibe to your driving experience

Canadians only honk when it's absolutely necessary to honk. Someone cuts you off and you're angry. You place you hand on the horn but don't apply the pressure at first. You start debating if you're 100% correct for honking at this person. You need to be correct. If there's any doubt here, either from you or the receiver of the honk then you may, most likely, be classified as an asshole. Who wants to be an asshole?

I think Canadians need to adopt the Filipino style of honking. Sure it adds unbearable noise pollution to your morning commute but at least everyone on the road is your friend. Personally I prefer a world where I have hundreds of friends on the road rather than that one annoying asshole.

Seatbelts

The relationship people have with seatbelts here in the Philippines is quite different than what I'm used to in Canada. In Canada wearing seatbelts is not only the law it's also something that's force-fed into our brains from an early age.

'Wearing a seatbelt is necessary for your safety.'
'If you don't wear you're seatbelt you'll DIE!!'

Since we're given this teaching at an early age the first thing we do when we get in the car is attached our seatbelts. Both in the front and the backseats. And that's before the car engine is even running! You open your car door, get in, buckle up in your seatbelt, start the engine, then drive.

This is Canada.

Now let's talk about the Philippines.

It's also the law to wear seatbelts in the Philippines. But of the 10 people I asked no one seems to know if it's the law for both the front and back seats. No one here wears seatbelts in the backseat. NO ONE I know. My observation is people here are consciously aware they're wearing a seatbelt. They wear it and they hate it. They hate it so much they look for any opportunity to take it off. Here's an example: we have a driver in the family that takes us places. He will only put on his seatbelt when it's absolutely necessary. By 'necessary' I mean when it's possible a police may see him and give him a ticket. He only wears his seatbelt on main roads. Once we turn onto a side street the seatbelt immediately comes off. And I mean IMMEDIATELY. He turns the corner onto the side street and CLICK off comes the seatbelt. The reason I find this amusing is because when I'm in a car driving I'm not even aware I have my seatbelt fastened. I click it on and it stays on. I forget it's there. Our driver (and others I've seen actually) knows it's there and dammit, he wants it off. He treats it like a rabid dog biting into his waist. Sadly I'm falling into this Filipino seatbeat philosophy. I never wear my seatbelt in the backseat anymore. Oh what will become of good old law-biding Kenn?

Driving

I just got back from driving myself to a haircut. In normal driving conditions the time frame from home to salon should only take 10 minutes. But since the Philippines doesn't understand the term 'normal driving conditions' this haircut adventure can take - and has taken - close to an hour in the past. I'm happy to announce that today's haircut drive was the 'normal driving condition' time of 10 minutes. 2008 is looking good so far!

Speaking of driving I'm reminded about a thought I had when I hopped into our rental car in Vancouver. I wondered to myself what my driving skills were going to be like back in Canada. You see, my 4 months in the Philippines has twisted my driving skills into something that can only be called Filipino Chaos. Within 4 months I drive like 'they' do: I cut people off. I swerve in and out of lanes. Swerve? Forget the lanes, who needs lanes? I drive between lanes while I swerve. I'll even drive towrds incoming traffic. I drive at night without my lights on. I honk my car horn for no apparent reason. I'll switch lanes without using my turn signal or when I do use it, I'll leave it on for a few blocks just to annoy people. The worse thing? I caught myself driving without a seatbelt. These are bad bad things - at least in the land of the Canucks. Here in Pinoy World it's considered acceptable. So considering my new unique driving style I was wondering if I'd have issues once I got on the road in Vancouver. The conclusion? I'm happy to announce that my driving style is alot like my "Pause" and "Play" analogy from before. When in the Philippines my "Philippine Driving Switch" is clicked into the 'ON' position. And when I'm in Canada my 'Canadian Driving Switch" is clicked into the 'ON' position as well. Thankfully these two ON switches cannot be switched at the same time. I do fear, however, that the day may come when I get the switches mixed up. A Canadian driving style in the Philippines would leave me stranded on the side of the road with my turn signal flashing in the hope someone will let me in. They won't; I would be stuck there forever. My Philippine driving style in Canada would leave me, well, pennyless once I paid for all the traffic violation tickets. In either case, stranded or pennyless, I prefer to keep the two driving worlds separated.

Public Transportation

To get around the city there are various modes of transportation. Some are similiar to Canada but others are unique to the Philippines. Obviously they have buses and taxis but here are a few things you don't see in Canada:















Pedicab:

I've seen pedicabs (or rickshaws as they're called elsewhere) even in Vancouver during the Summertime but not like this. The configuration is a peddle bike (simple, without gears) and an attached side car. This form of transportation is generally used down side streets or neighbourhood to neighbourhood transports. Never for long distances.

Fares for these are generally agreed on before the ride starts.



















Tricycle:

Tricycles are motorbikes with sidecar carrying up to 6 passengers, sometimes even more. I've been in one of these and we were able to squeeze 8 passengers plus the driver. It's not comfortable but it is possible (see the picture below).


















One driver, two passengers behind him plus six squeezed into the side car (three in the front seat of the side car and three in the back seat).

Tricycles usually cost a flat fare per passenger, depending on the distance, mostly something about 5 Peso per ride (about 11 cents CAD).




















There are two 'Skytrain-like' rapid train transports here called MRT and LRT. To date I haven't had a chance to ride them. From what I heard they're fast and get you where you want to go but they're hot (no aircon) and overly crowded. I stand taller than most Filipinos here so being squeezed together in a hot and sweaty mess of human bodies wouldn't bother me as much as - say - someone short with their face in another traveller's armpit. Ignoring the smells of armpit I hope to take this one day. I've taken the trains in other Asian countries but never in my own home country of the Philippines (mostly because we have cars and drivers so the need to take the train has never come up!).

The fares range from 10 to 15 pesos per ride ( 22 to 33 cents CAD).















I've saved the best to last... Ladies and gentlemen I give you the Jeepney!

Here's a brief history:

When American troops began to leave the Philippines at the end of World War II, hundreds of surplus jeeps were sold or given to local Filipinos.














Locals stripped down the jeeps to accommodate several passengers, added metal roofs for shade, and decorated the vehicles with vibrant colors and bright chrome hood ornaments. The jeepney rapidly emerged as a popular and creative way to reestablish inexpensive public transportation, which had been virtually destroyed during World War II.

Jeepney fares generally cost you 7 pesos.

Like the Tricyle, there seems to be no limit to the number of people you can squeeze in, on and around these things. I've included these two photos to illustrate the point:


Look! The whole town on one jeepney!
























Imagine if I imported a couple dozen jeepneys into Canada, I could put moving companies out of business. Who needs a moving van when you have this!