Unsolicited Texts

I'm actually surprised at the number of unsolicited cellular phone text messages I receive here in the Philippines. I don't know how or where these people get my phone number from but the text messages seem to be increasing. The texts range from simple advertisements regarding sales at stores to asking if I want to purchase a new car or property. I don't know about you but every time I consider buying a new home the first place I look for good deals is through a text message! I'm sure the text messaging real estate agents are very trustworthy! On second thought, I think I prefer to buy my home from someone else thank you very much! What bothers me the most about these unsolicited text messages isn't that they're happening (which yes, is quite annoying) but how hard I find them to understand. The Filipinos text in an odd format I can't translate. It's a miss-mash of Tagalog and English words, cleverly called Taglish. This odd mixing of languages isn't the worse part, it's the crazy grammar and abbreviated spelling that makes translating even the English components impossible. Now, I'm a traditionalist when it comes to advertising. As a consumer I expect the advertisements directed at me to make sense. It's that the point? I want perfect spelling and I want perfect clear and concise grammar; is that too much to expect? But instead, even companies I shop at who I'm happy to receive information from sends me texts that I either can't read, or the frustration from the improbable grammar mistakes or cartoonish abbreviations makes me give up and delete the messages entirely. Now I know what you're thinking; you think I'm being harsh. You're probably saying to yourself that the reason these texts are badly written is because they're probably sent from people who use English as a second language therefore I should be more understanding. No, I refuse to be understanding because most people here in the Philippines speak excellent English. All the stores I shop in employ people who speak excellent English. But for some odd reason, this beautiful understanding of the English language never makes its way into a text message. Text messaging has just become a real lazy form of a new language here. Text Taglish we shall call it!

Here's the first example of a unsolicited text message:

Get 20k-2M loan,asLOWas 1.2%int/mo!Up to 48mos!NO COLLATRAL/COMAKA! 1mo PAYMNT HOLIDY!Call Helen... Pls dsrgrd msg f not intrstd.Tnx&God bless!

Now I understand the gist of this message but the part(s) that bother me the most are the ones where the words are so close to being correct but they got lazy and abbreviated them:

PAYMNT, HOLIDY, dsrgrd, intrstd....grrrr. Please, oh please, just add that last letter. Is that so hard to do?

Here's another example. This time from a store I shop at quite frequently called Healthy Options:

Gud eveng Sir! Dis is to infOrm u dat u are includ'd on our goldc'd list,d gOld card wil entitlle u a 10% discOun once u availed d required points, as such u hv until may 26,&d need'd amunt wud be ____ tnx&best of health.-luz/healthy OptiOns mall of asia/.

Is the 'luz' their business version of 'luv'? I don't understand. Once again, words that shouldn't be nor needed to be shorted get oddly abbreviated.

My final example shouldn't even have reached my cellular's inbox. It's not addressed to me so I don't understand why it was sent to me. See if you can understand the meaning of this one:

Pd pload 60 kc emrgncy lng. D2 kc ko bukid e wlng ngloload d2. Palitan ko nlng doblehn ko pa. D2 rn sa # na to ha laz ko lng 2.May ttmgn lng.

A perfect example of Taglish. A mixture of both English and Tagalog words, both abbreviated.

I'm tempted if these unsolicited texts continue to start sending my own badly written versions back to the senders. Maybe abbreviated insults will get them to stop?

U ashOle, stp txtng me. I am a canuck & im pis'd off by ur anoy'ng msg's. stop or i wil find u & brek ur fOne.piss off & God Bless. -Luz mE