License To Chaos

I decided to get a Filipino driver's license. Partly for driving, and partly for identification purposes. Regarding the driving part: I plan to do very little of it. Come here and try to drive using your Canadian and US standard of driving. It won't work. I see Filipino drivers as using the concept of 'organized chaos'. On first glance what you see is bumper to bumper traffic not obeying any laws; not respecting lanes; not caring if a sidewalk is meant for pedestrians; not understanding that stop signs mean 'STOP' and not 'DRIVE THROUGH QUICKLY'... I've witnessed on many occasions how a street built for three lanes of traffic somehow becomes six lanes of traffic. It's amazing. And this where I first thought, 'these people are insane, they must be the worst drivers in the world'. But now, ah, but now I've altered my view. In order to survive in this crazy world of insane traffic you really need to be a skilled driver. People will cut you off. People will squeeze in beside your car with only an inch of room and somehow not bump into you. And if you're not careful you will find yourself being pushed out of your lane and onto the sidewalk. You need to pay attention and you need to be aggressive BUT this is where it becomes 'organized chaos'. It truly is chaos but somehow it all works. I lack this skill so I probably would be the guy getting pushed onto the sidewalk. Give me time, but for now, I'm only planning to drive small distances.

Getting my Filipino driver's license: Pretty easy. Not as complicated as my ACR Card, but still worth the blog. I obviously needed a new one and Aimee needed to renew her old one.

It's easy for me to get a Filipino driver's license since I already have a British Columbian license. It's pretty much just filling out an application form, showing them my BC license, paying a fee then picking up my new license. The only small part that adds complication to the process is I needed to take a drug test and then a medical exam. Sounds easy right? Sounds like a normal thing right? Sounds like something the driver's licensing office would do for you onsite right? Nope. All drug testing and medical exams are done offsite. But thankfully, and conveniently, a few shacks were built across the street offering drug and medical tests! So here we were, Aimee and I, leaving the licensing office in search of the testing centers. The guard at the office pointed in some odd direction and said the testing centers were 'over there'. I'm starting to think directions are based on the direction these guards happen to be standing at the time you ask them. 'Over there' never seems to mean anything. So we head 'over there' and are greeted by a small man with a huge smile asking us to follow him to get a drug test. We cross the street and enter the shanty town of testing centers. As we follow him I notice we’re passing several shacks that offer drug testing. I start to wonder why he’s not taking us into any of these places. Then I start to wonder where he actually IS taking us. As my heart rate goes us we arrive at our destination: a small shack with the words ‘Drug Testing’ written in marking pen on a broken old door. We go inside and at the end of the shack there’s a small man trying to look all professional sitting at a tiny little desk. He hands us an information form (badly photocopied) asking us various questions about our health; we fill it out, sign it, and hand it back. Aimee completed her form first so she was told to give a urine sample for testing. So imagine being a female, going into a small dirty room without a proper toilet and told to pee into a cup. On first try Aimee couldn’t do it. And although the employees at the testing center were quite supportive by saying motivational things like, “you can do it Ma’am, we believe in you”, I decided to give my sample and allow Aimee a break. She drank a bottle of water in order to prepare. My sample came back … clean. No drugs. Aimee finally gave her sample and it also came back clean.

Remember the small smiling man who brought us to the drug testing center? Well, he was replaced by a different small smiling man who grabbed all our paperwork and told us to follow him to the medical testing center. Following him brought us deeper into the shanty town. We walked passed abandoned buildings, passed people’s personal dwellings, passed small cafes (they call them eateries here) with people singing karaoke… Finally we reached our destination: another small shack with the words, “Medical Testing” hand-written on the door. We entered and each of us had a medical test. The test consisted of a ten second eye exam (“Please read the first letter on the first line … Good … okay, now read the third letter on the third line … Good, you pass”) and a quick measurement of our blood pressure. Before the exam began the ‘doctor’ asked me if I was American. I said “No, I’m Canadian”. He replied with, “Oh, Canadians tend to be healthy, this shouldn’t take too long”. He was right, I passed. After Aimee passed as well we left the shack with our smiling guide. He asked us if we wanted him to do the rest of the application process for a small fee. The fee ended up being 5000 pesos (about $112 dollars Canadian). He kept telling us how difficult our day was going to be at the Licensing Office and how if he helped it would be better. We said no, collected our paperwork from him and walked back to the Licensing Office. 30 minutes later, we were done. They even gave me my license that day. In Canada they mail it to you two weeks later! So efficient this Philippines! Now to drive… (a bit).