Hugs and the City

I just came back from watching the movie version of Sex and the City and I must tell you, I feel totally ripped off. The version they're showing here in the Philippines is a badly edited 'de-sexed' one. Any of the steamy sex scenes that may have been in the original cut were left out of the cut here. And the way they edited out these scenes was terrible. They must have hired the meat butcher of film editing because the cuts were painfully obvious. Imagine a scene where a couple is about to have sex, they hop into bed and start kissing, all of a sudden the movie's music cuts out abruptly and the couple are lying in bed, sex finished, and talking about something unrelated to the pre-sex conversation. The editor not only cut out the sex scene but all the dialogue that went along with it. I found these slasher cuts very distracting. What I don't understand is why a movie with no swearing and no sex is till rated restricted? I guess the government/church really wants to keep the public away from impure sexual thoughts that this movie may, or may not, bring on. I suppose I'll have to watch the DVD when it comes out to see what I missed. But for now, I think they should retitled the movie here in the Philippines as Hugs and the City.

KKK

Let's talk about the KKK...

... no, not that KKK you one track-minded people; I'm referring to the KKK here in the Philippines.

During my first trip here back in 2001 I saw this huge monument proudly being displayed in Manila (I know it's hard to appreciate the scale of a monument in a photo but keep in mind that all the people are life-sized - well, ignoring the giant dude on top of course!):

Now imagine my confusion when I first saw it. Obviously being from Canada and hearing constantly about the close-minded racial morons in the US called the Klu Klux Klan I was immediately speechless with dumbfounded confusion. My perplexed brain started wondering if their was some sort of connection between the KKK in the USA and the KKK here in the Philippines. I immediately discounted that possibility because, well, I highly doubt the fun loving Filipinos would want anything to do with the close-minded racial morons in the silly white hoods.
A couple to days after my KKK monument encounter I came across this restaurant:
Fun loving Filipinos eating in a KKK-branded restaurant? Does every kid's meal come with a little white hood? No, no that's not possible. There's no connection. There can't be! I figured this must be another exciting episode of "Lost in Transition," also better known (in my head) as "Cultural Confusion." I decided to read up on what the Filipino KKK actually is. To summarize what I discovered:

The Katipunan was a Philippine revolutionary organization founded by Filipino rebels in Manila, in 1892, which aimed to gain independence from Spain.

The word "Katipunan" comes from the root word "tipon", an indigenous Tagalog word, meaning: "society" or "gather". Its official revolutionary meanings are translated as Kataas-taasang, Kagalang-galangang Katipunan ng mga Anak ng Bayan (Supreme and Venerable Society of the Children of the Nation). The word were used by Filipino revolutionary rebel leaders. Katipunan is also known by its acronym, KKK.

So thankfully, there's no connection to the badly dressed cotton balls with pointed heads from the US.

What lesson did we learn here? Never assume what you think you know, or not know, or may know sometime in the near or far future is 100% correct the world over. An acronym of hate in one country could very well be an acronym for bravery and freedom in another!

That is my lesson students, you may, or may not be tested on this!

Restaurant Greeters

When you find a row of restaurants here in the Philippines you usually find several people standing out front, menu in hands, trying to convince you to pick their restaurant over the others. I use the word convince very lightly. They generally don't seem as interested as they should be about getting you inside. This is their job after all so I don't understand why most of them seem to be so bored doing it. To help to understand what it's like think of it this way: you're in a mall and there are 10 restaurants in a row all offering either similar things or completely different things from various countries. What they offer is unimportant, it's all down to being a good salesman and convincing you, the possible customer, that the restaurant they represent is the only choice for you. That's what it's about - or at least - that's what it should be about. But here in the Philippines this particular job seems to have a different requirement. It's not about advertising. And it's certainly not about convincing. It seems the only job requirement is to be slightly informative and only slightly interested in talking to you. Let me explain: you walk by this row of 10 restaurants and each greeter takes one small step closer to you, raises the menu only slightly higher in your direction, and says the following words, "_____food Sir." The blank represents the style of food in the restaurant. "Italian food Sir," "Japanese food Sir," "Chinese Food Sir," "Thai food Sir," "Filipino food Sir..." But this is all fine and dandy, I can already see the type of the food the restaurant offers even before the greeter greets me. So how is saying, "Japanese food Sir" suppose to convince me that this is my best restaurant choice? Especially considering that there might be 5 Japanese restaurants all in a row. Each greeter only saying, "Japanese food Sir." And when I ask if the food is good, the only reply I get is, "Japanese food good Sir." Yes, I know Japanese food is good but is yours good? I never seem to get an answer. It gets really funny when you're approached by a greeter that represents a restaurant that has a wide range of international dishes on their menu. Rather than saying, "Japanese food Sir" you will get either a bored, "food Sir," or just them telling you the name of the restaurant. If I was to ask them what sort of food they offer I would get a, "many foods Sir." So I start looking through the menu and reading it under my breath saying things like, "Oh, I see pasta, I see sandwiches, I see pizzas...," followed by a bored reply by the greeter of, "Yes, pasta Sir, sandwiches Sir, pizzas Sir..." So far, during my life here, I've never, ever, been approached by a greeter who really convinced me their restaurant was the only one for me. It's always overly polite and bored sounding greetings that never, ever, describe the food.

On the other side of the world in Mexico these restaurant greeters really work for your business. They will not take no for an answer. They will run up to you, menu in hand, and say things like, 'best burritos in Mexico, sexy waitresses, the most fun you will have EVER for the REST OF YOUR LIFE. THESE ARE LIFE CHANGING BURRITOS!!!" If you try to walk away they will chase after you. "WE WILL COOK YOU ANYTHING!! ANYTHING!! OUR WAITRESSES WILL SERVE YOU FOOD IN THE NUDE. OUR RESTAURANT IS THE BEST PLEASE BE OUR COSTUMER!!

Quite a difference eh? Like night and day! Either Mexicans are better salesmen or Filipinos are just more polite people? I actually don't like either of these techniques. One isn't aggressive enough, and the other is too aggressive. Is it so hard to have a greeter who sits happily in the middle?

Unsolicited Texts

I'm actually surprised at the number of unsolicited cellular phone text messages I receive here in the Philippines. I don't know how or where these people get my phone number from but the text messages seem to be increasing. The texts range from simple advertisements regarding sales at stores to asking if I want to purchase a new car or property. I don't know about you but every time I consider buying a new home the first place I look for good deals is through a text message! I'm sure the text messaging real estate agents are very trustworthy! On second thought, I think I prefer to buy my home from someone else thank you very much! What bothers me the most about these unsolicited text messages isn't that they're happening (which yes, is quite annoying) but how hard I find them to understand. The Filipinos text in an odd format I can't translate. It's a miss-mash of Tagalog and English words, cleverly called Taglish. This odd mixing of languages isn't the worse part, it's the crazy grammar and abbreviated spelling that makes translating even the English components impossible. Now, I'm a traditionalist when it comes to advertising. As a consumer I expect the advertisements directed at me to make sense. It's that the point? I want perfect spelling and I want perfect clear and concise grammar; is that too much to expect? But instead, even companies I shop at who I'm happy to receive information from sends me texts that I either can't read, or the frustration from the improbable grammar mistakes or cartoonish abbreviations makes me give up and delete the messages entirely. Now I know what you're thinking; you think I'm being harsh. You're probably saying to yourself that the reason these texts are badly written is because they're probably sent from people who use English as a second language therefore I should be more understanding. No, I refuse to be understanding because most people here in the Philippines speak excellent English. All the stores I shop in employ people who speak excellent English. But for some odd reason, this beautiful understanding of the English language never makes its way into a text message. Text messaging has just become a real lazy form of a new language here. Text Taglish we shall call it!

Here's the first example of a unsolicited text message:

Get 20k-2M loan,asLOWas 1.2%int/mo!Up to 48mos!NO COLLATRAL/COMAKA! 1mo PAYMNT HOLIDY!Call Helen... Pls dsrgrd msg f not intrstd.Tnx&God bless!

Now I understand the gist of this message but the part(s) that bother me the most are the ones where the words are so close to being correct but they got lazy and abbreviated them:

PAYMNT, HOLIDY, dsrgrd, intrstd....grrrr. Please, oh please, just add that last letter. Is that so hard to do?

Here's another example. This time from a store I shop at quite frequently called Healthy Options:

Gud eveng Sir! Dis is to infOrm u dat u are includ'd on our goldc'd list,d gOld card wil entitlle u a 10% discOun once u availed d required points, as such u hv until may 26,&d need'd amunt wud be ____ tnx&best of health.-luz/healthy OptiOns mall of asia/.

Is the 'luz' their business version of 'luv'? I don't understand. Once again, words that shouldn't be nor needed to be shorted get oddly abbreviated.

My final example shouldn't even have reached my cellular's inbox. It's not addressed to me so I don't understand why it was sent to me. See if you can understand the meaning of this one:

Pd pload 60 kc emrgncy lng. D2 kc ko bukid e wlng ngloload d2. Palitan ko nlng doblehn ko pa. D2 rn sa # na to ha laz ko lng 2.May ttmgn lng.

A perfect example of Taglish. A mixture of both English and Tagalog words, both abbreviated.

I'm tempted if these unsolicited texts continue to start sending my own badly written versions back to the senders. Maybe abbreviated insults will get them to stop?

U ashOle, stp txtng me. I am a canuck & im pis'd off by ur anoy'ng msg's. stop or i wil find u & brek ur fOne.piss off & God Bless. -Luz mE

"Pleasure To Meet You Mr. Ambassador"

Today was one of those days where to say to yourself, "Wow, that was something I wouldn't have done if I was still living in Canada." And it's true, I did two things today that were completely outside the realm of normal day-to-day life if I was still back in Vancouver. The first thing, which happened in the morning involved taking a course. Now, as you know, going to school for a course is a pretty normal and average thing to do. Courses are something I've taken in Vancouver. But it's not the idea of going to school that's the unique part, it's the course itself. Today I went to a course called, 'Managing Your Household Staff.' Having a maid or a driver in Canada is a pretty luxurious thing. Only the richest of the rich can afford live-in maids, personal security guards, and drivers that drive you around all day, everyday. But here in the Philippines having household staff is pretty commonplace, even for the middle class. Now I'm not saying I took this course because I need to know how to manage my own personal body guard. I don't have a guard and I never plan to get one. I don't even like the idea of a live-in maid. I actually find it weird waking up every morning and seeing several maids running around cleaning things. The house we live in currently has several maids and drivers; and although I've gotten used to it as time went by I still like having a bit more privacy. So once Aimee and I decide to move we're not having live-in maids; especially in an apartment. Call me old fashion but I like walking around in my underwear if the desire hits me and with live-in maids I feel like I have to dress up somewhat respectively just to leave my room. Your home is your castle so it's all about what do you prefer: a clean house and no personal privacy or a semi-dirty house with hours of pleasurable underwear dancing. We may have one maid - a part-time maid - so I guess taking this course is somewhat relevant if I need to know how to manage her. I won't bore you with the details but let's just say the course taught me how to locate possible staff, how to interview them, how to manage them once they're hired, how to keep them happy, and how to punish them (non-violently obviously) if you caught them stealing or such. The course also went briefly into cultural differences between us western types and the Filipinos. Some Filipinos are very superstitious about certain things so our instructor said it's a good idea to familiarize yourself with some of the customs just in case you find yourself in a situation where the maid refuses to wash dishes on a Friday because evil spirits will possess her through the sink drain (I made this one up but some of the superstitions are actually quite close on the silly meter). When the course ended I found myself walking away with new and exciting knowledge on how to be a boss. I also found myself thinking about the bosses I've had over the years and how they should be taking the course I just finished. Most of my ex-bosses had no idea on how to deal with employees and I think this course - although talking about Filipinos - would be a good and positive educational experience for them. Maybe I should fax my course booklet to my old places of employment?

Did you know that the stanard wage for a live-in maid in the Metro Manila area is only 3000 to 4000 peso per month? That's - only - $69.10 to 92.14 CDN. You're probably sitting there thinking to yourself, 'Holy crap, I would feel guilty paying someone only $69.10 a month.' and you wouldn't be alone. Most of the expat families here thought the same thing and started paying their employees on a pay scale closer to the one a North American would earn. So imagine being a Filipino, getting hired by an expat family and finding your wage going from 3000 peso per month to, say, 2000 peso per week or more. Needless to say this discrepancy in wages has caused a bit of an issue in the household staff labour force. Any maid that has had an expat employer in the past now expects a rate much higher that the labour code suggests. I wonder if the non-expat families - the Filipino families - are annoyed at the expats for paying their staff so high?

The course ended, I had lunch, headed home and got ready for my evening out. My evening consisted of attending a general meeting for the Canadian Club of the Philippines. We're a group of Canadians who get together on both a social level and a charitable level. The Canadian Club raise funds for local Filipino charities and try to help out the poor as much as possible. The general meeting, this time, was held at the house of the Canadian Ambassador to the Philippines. I've met the Ambassador before, during Christmas time but I wasn't 100% satisfied with our meeting. You see, when I first heard I was going to meet a real Ambassador my mind started to fill with scenes from movies - usually James Bond-type movies - and how meeting an Ambassador is such a big deal. I thought to myself how I need to do this properly; I need to greet him in the most respectable way possible. I had my greeting practiced and ready to go. I would say, "It's a pleasure to meet you Mr. Ambassador," smile, and shake his hand. It didn't actually go that way. When Aimee and I arrived at the Ambassador's house we were greeted by two people at the entrance. A woman, and a man. I shook the woman's hand and then moved over to the man's hand. He didn't announce himself as being the Ambassador so I didn't immediately think to blurt of my, "It's a pleasure to meet you Mr. Ambassador," line. We finished the hand shaking and just as I was about to ask him if he's the Ambassador a waiter comes up and offers me a glass to wine. I grab the wine and turn back only to see a new guest shaking his hand and saying, "It's a pleasure to meet you Mr. Ambassador." What??? Are you kidding me? That was MY line! I missed my chance and sadly at the end of the evening I also missed my chance to say, "It was a pleasure to meet you Mr. Ambassador." So Christmas with the Ambassador was a complete write off. No dramatic James Bond styled secret agent scenes for me. I was just another face in the crowd for the Ambassador. So imagine my pleasure when I heard the next Canadian Club meeting was going to be at the Ambassador's house! "It's a pleasure to meet you again Mr. Ambassador." I can do this! We arrived at his house and went though the entrance. There were two ladies greeting us at the door: the Ambassador's wife and a member from the Canadian Club. Where is the Ambassador? How am I suppose to wow him with my rehearsed greeting if he's not even here? I grabbed a glass of wine and started to mingle. An hour went by and I still didn't see the Ambassador. Finally the meeting started and out popped the Ambassador. He said a few words and disappeared again. I didn't see him for the rest of the evening. Second chance: failed! I hope I don't have to wait until the next Christmas party to say my amusing and cunning greeting. Knowing my luck I'll finally get the chance and accidentally blurt out something like, "Pleasure to eat you Mr. Assador." Oh, the horror ... I shiver in fear at the likely possibly of that happening.

"It's a pleasure to meet you Mr. Ambassador ... one day, soon, in the future, when ever you have time, let's have coffee ... and some maple syrup eh!"

Singapore

Aimee and I spent a few days exploring Singapore. Singapore, the home of Tiger Beer and Tiger Balm!

Singapore is an island nation located at the southern tip of the Malay Peninsula. It lies 137 kilometres (85 mi) north of the equator, south of the Malaysian state of Johor and north of Indonesia's Riau Islands. At 704.0 km (272 sq mi), it is one of the few remaining city-states in the world and the smallest country in Southeast Asia. Singapore became a self-governing state within the British Empire in 1959 with Yusof bin Ishak as its first Yang di-Pertuan Negara and Lee Kuan Yew as its first Prime Minister. It declared independence from Britain in August 1963, before joining the Federation of Malaysia in September as the result of the 1962 Merger Referendum of Singapore. Singapore left the federation two years later after heated ideological conflict between the state's PAP government and the federal Kuala Lumpur government. Singapore officially gained sovereignty on 9 August 1965. Yusof bin Ishak was sworn in as the first President of Singapore and Lee Kuan Yew remained Prime Minister.

Although Singapore's laws are inherited from British and British Indian laws, including many elements of English common law, the PAP has also consistently rejected liberal democratic values, which it typifies as Western and states there should not be a 'one-size-fits-all' solution to a democracy. There are no jury trials. Laws restricting the freedom of speech are justified by claims that they are intended to prohibit speech that may breed ill will or cause disharmony within Singapore's multiracial, multi-religious society. For example, in September 2005, three bloggers were convicted of sedition for posting racist remarks targeting minorities. Some offences can lead to heavy fines or caning (caning is a physical punishment consisting of a number of hits (known as "strokes" or "cuts") with a wooden cane, generally applied to the bare or clad buttocks, shoulders, hand(s) (palm, rarely knuckles) or the soles of the feet), and there are laws which allow capital punishment in Singapore for first-degree murder and drug trafficking. Amnesty International has criticised Singapore for having "possibly the highest execution rate in the world" per capita. The Singapore government argues that there is no international consensus on the appropriateness of the death penalty and that Singapore has the sovereign right to determine its own judicial system and impose capital punishment for the most serious crimes.

Reading this you might be thinking, "wow, Singapore is a pretty harsh place". The laws are extreme, the punishments for crimes are extreme but when you take these things into account, and if you're a law bidding citizen, Singapore is probably the safest place I've ever travelled to. Or at least, Singapore feels like it's the safest place. I read the newspaper every morning while I was there and saw no articles or news about crime. Nothing. I'm sure it exists but from my viewpoint I didn't see any. Singapore is also an insanely clean place. You can practically eat off the sidewalk. The fines/punishments for littering are so extreme that no body seems to do it.

I really enjoyed my time in Singapore. It may not have the ancient history of other Asian countries but it does have its own quaint personality. From a tourist perspective I noticed Singapore is pretty much made up of sightseeing, places to eat, a few museums, and a whole mess of theme parks. Singapore's main income comes from tourism so they've built various themed places for tourists to go. Here are some things we saw while there:

This is the Merlion, Singapore's national symbol. Half lion, half fish. There are five official Merlions in Singapore approved by the Singapore Tourism Board. The largest is on the island of Sentosa.

The building behind Aimee and I is called the Esplanade. There are two of these duplicate buildings side by side. They are used for live theatre and performances. The locals affectionately nicknamed these buildings the Durian Buildings because of their close appearance to the fruit. Don't believe me? Look at the photo below:

Ah, great durian ... the stinky rotten cheese fruit passionately loved in Asia!

Aimee and I decided to take a walking tour of Little India. Walking around Little India really opened my eyes about how multicultural Singapore is. They call it 'Little India', and it is primarily Indian, but you still see a wonderful mosaic of other cultures. This photo is a good example of this. In the middle of Little India I saw this Chinese-themed display. Actually, the only thing in this photo that shows it's Little India is the two Indian fellows in the foreground.

The following are several photos taken around Little India:



Our travels in Little India brought us to this mosque.

We took off our shoes, screamed as our naked feet hit the frying pavement, and walked quickly to the inside of the mosque.

While inside we were treated to a short tour and a summarized lesson about the Muslim faith. It was an educational experience but sadly due to the Imam's (Muslin Priest) thick accent I only understood 75% of the lecture. After he finished talking he quickly left leaving me wondering what the missing 25% was. I scratched my head in confusion and decided to try to fill in the blanks. Maybe it's this 25% of blanks being filled that's causing all the religious issues in the world?

Next stop, Sentosa Island!

Sentosa, which means peace and tranquillity in Malay, is a popular island resort in Singapore, visited by some five million people a year. Attractions include a two-kilometre long sheltered beach, Fort Siloso, Underwater World, two golf courses and two five-star hotels.

To get to Sentosa you have to take a gondola ride from the mainland. As you approach the island you're welcomed by this giant Merlion. At 37m/121ft, this is the tallest version of the half-lion, half-fish.

We decided to join a bus tour to see some of the sights of Sentosa. Our bus tour included a guide and I must say, our guide was more entertaining than Sentosa itself. Our guide was extremely gay, and extremely stressed. Do you remember the movie Father of the Bride (the remake) and in that movie Martin Short played an overly stereotypical gay wedding planner? If you were to take that character, make him Malayian, and then give him a Singaporian accent, you would have our guide. He was stressed because it was not only a weekend but a holiday as well so they were overloaded with tourists. As he attempted to collect every person part of his tour together he screamed out in a high and squeaky voice, "Everyone with me here, everyone who's with me here." We all gathered around him and then he quickly walked us to the bus. And I mean quickly. I saw old Grandma's running to catch up with him. We got on the bus and were taken to our first stop: Dolphin Lagoon. Dolphin Lagoon is basically an outdoor dolphin show. Did I say it was outdoor? Oh yes, outdoor and pouring rain. It's hard to enjoy a dolphin show when you're getting drenched wet in the rain like a dolphin. I ran into the gift shop and paid an insane amount of money for a Singaporian themed umbrella which sadly broke as soon as I opened it. I ran back to the gift shop, got a replacement, opened the umbrella, located Aimee and attemped to enjoy the dolphin show while being smacked in the head by the umbrellas attached to short people. Needless to say, Dolphin Lagoon wasn't going to go down in my travel book of favourite places.

The show ended and we met at our designated meeting spot. We were greeted with another round of, "Everyone with me here" and followed our guide back to the bus. During the bus ride I could tell our guide was relaxing a bit. He started to tell jokes and odd jokes they were. Our next stop was going to be an oceanarium (the new hip way of saying aquarium) called Underwater World and our guide jokingly asked us all to go see the manatee and tell him who is more sexy, him or the manatee. Obviously he was joking but it seemed he was the only one laughing (giggling obsessively actually). We stopped at Underwater World and got off.

Underwater World is Asia's largest tropical oceanarium showcasing some 2500 marine life from 250 species from around the regions and one of Singapore's most popular tourist attractions. Once you reach the bottom level of the oceanarium you step onto a moving sidewalk that takes you through a 83-meter long underwater tunnel. I stood there in awe of all the species of sea life in front of me and then I was greeted by the prize of my visit: the manatee...

Hello Miss Manatee! I remembered back to what our travel guide said, who is more sexy. I couldn't decide given the choices I was given: a sea mammal or a homosexual tour guide? Who is more sexy? I figured it was best to just play dumb if our guide repeated the question. After all, it was probably just a one-off joke right? He wouldn't ask that again would he? Well, once we got back to the bus he did ask. The bus went quiet. Deadly quiet. I noticed I wasn't alone in my quest to play dumb. Everyone was playing dumb. After what seemed like an eternity of uncomfortable silence are bus started up and we moved on to our next destination: The Extreme Log Ride!

No wait, you need to say it like this in a deep voice: THE EXTREME LOG RIDE!

The Extreme Log Ride is a 4-dimensional ride that will tickle all your senses. In theory at least; that's if it worked properly. While we were waiting in the line up I saw a poster advertising the ride this way:

Sit tight! These Super-Trees that are grown in a 'Super World' will rush down ravines and gush through deep caves, crocodiles and danger awaits you at every turn! Will you make it to the harvesting plant? Hang on and find out!

Finally after 40 minutes of waiting we were at the front of the line and it was our turn to go inside. We found ourselves in yet another waiting room only at least this time they entertained us with a music and light show. After 15 minutes of that we were finally allowed into the coveted area of the EXTREME LOG RIDE. We were given 3-D glasses and rushed to grab our seats. The seats were inside these little spaceship-looking-things that sat 6 people per car. Aimee and I weren't fast enough so we ended up sitting in seats way at the back. Mostly because we were following a group of 4 people who couldn't seem to decided who they wanted to sit beside. Their group kept reorganizing themselves while Aimee and I waited. After they were finally happy with their seating arrangement Aimee and I noticed they sat in a way that didn't allow us to sit together. We politely asked them to reorganize themselves again so there would be two seats side by side. Thankfully they did. Aimee and I sat together, buckled up our seat belts, and excitedly waited for the EXTREME LOG RIDE. A female host came out and gave us all a brief list or rules and once that was complete she lowered her voice into a deep growl and said, "All aboard the EXTREME LOG RIDE". The lights dimmed, and with our 3-D glasses on the show started.
In the show you're sitting on a log as it goes through various areas of a forest. You're cut in half by saws, you're rushing down rivers, you're being attacked by crocodiles... While all this is happening, in 3-D, our spaceship-thing moves with the motion you see on the screen. It was an amazing ride - well - until it started breaking down. The first viewing went on for about five minutes. I noticed after the five minute mark that our spaceship-thing stopped moving. I looked at the other spaceship-things and notice they too had stopped. The lights came up and the host came out and said there was a minor error and the EXTREME LOG RIDE will start again - from the start. The lights dimmed and we were brought back to the beginning of the show. This time we got through three minutes of the ride when I noticed everything on the screen was going blurry. My first thought was my contacts were dry and I wasn't seeing properly. I took off the 3-D glasses and looked around. Everything else seemed to be in focus (from what I could gather sitting in the dark). I whispered to Aimee, "Hey, do you see something weird about the screen?" She replied, "Oh yeah, I thought it was my contacts." Once again the lights came back up. The host came out and said, "Sorry, there was another error please stay tuned we will restart the EXTREME LOG RIDE from the start." The lights went down again and we were once again we were brought back to the beginning. We got through four minutes this time. This time she said, "it looks like someone detached their seatbelt during the ride. Please keep your seatbelts fassoned. We will restart the EXTREME LOG RIDE shortly." The audience were all looking around trying to figure out (and beat) the person who unfassoned their seatbelt. Finally, the ride started up again. This time we got through two minutes before everything stopped and the lights came up. The host came out again and this time she said in a pissed off tone, "you SEE what happens when you remove your seatbelt. Now we need to start from the beginning again." I could see the audience all suspiciously looking at each other. But I could also see a 'People Power' movement forming. Everyone, almost in unison, started up blurting out things like, "It's not us, IT'S YOU", "We're not doing anything", "We're all innocent, really", but the main thing I heard was, "Can we please just leave now?" Unfortnuately our spaceship-things had a door that locked you in once you entered. We were all trapped. The lights dimmed and the show started again from, you guessed it, the beginning. Two minutes this time before it stopped. The lights came up and I saw a small man in a red jumpsuit run into the theatre and slide under the spaceship beside us. The people who saw him were all saying things like, "hey you, what's happening?" or "What are you doing, can we please just go home now?" You could barely see him under the car and he didn't answer, The doors to the spaceships remained closed. The lights started to dim and this time the error involved the spaceship doors opening just as the show started. Aimee and I saw people taking advantage of this by rushing through the doors and sprinting towards the exit. Aimee and I followed. As we were running we heard the host say, "you are free to leave if you wish but if you stay, get ready to be thrilled by the EXTREME LOG RIDE!!" I could see the expression of most people. The expression was, "Screw you lady," and we all bolted out the exit. I did notice though that 20% of the audience remained. I guess they truly were enjoying the EXTREME LOG RIDE!!

The EXTREME LOG RIDE was the last sight of our Sentosa tour. We hopped back on the gondula and headed back to the mainland. That night we went and saw the Night Safari.

Indiana Kenn says, "I really enjoyed the Night Safari."

Nestled in 40 hectares of lush secondary forest, the Night Safari offers guests the unique experience of exploring wildlife in a tropical jungle at night. Through the use of subtle lighting technique, guests are able to view over 1,000 nocturnal animals of 100 species in vast naturalistic habitats. It's the first in the world apparently. You are given the choice between taking one of the walking tours around the safari or riding on a tram that covers more area than the walking tour. We decided to do a little bit of both.

All aboard!

The trouble with a safari at night you see is it's at night right, so it's dark right, so unfortunately, I couldn't take a whole lot of photographs. Flash photography was banned understandably because it annoys and scares the animals but that still didn't stop the odd person from trying to sneak a flash shot by when the guide wasn't looking. Obviously the morons didn't realize that's it's impossibe to 'sneak' a picture with a flash by in a dark area. Everything lights up! One person tried three times and each time our guide told them to stop it. The flashed was blinding and if the animals weren't annoyed I certainly was.

The tram ride took us passed lions, elephants, wolves, and sorts of animals. Most of the dangerous animals were separated from us by only a ditch. The more peaceful animals were allowed to walk up to the tram if they wanted. Everything about the Night Safari reminded be of the movie Jurasic Park. Thankfully during our trip there, no one got eaten.

During one of the walking tours I found myself face to face with a fruit bat. I've never seen on so close before. I looked at him, he looked at me. He seemed to nibble on his apple more agressively the close I got. I was able to stare at this guy from a distance of only 2 feet. Amazing. Say what you will about bats, but I think they're kind of cute.

Aimee saw this hat and begged me to take a picture of her. Begged me! It was uncomfortable actually. I don't know why she was so passionate about wearing this hat....

...oh, okay, I admit it, I was the one doing all the begging. But I really wanted a photo of her in an elephant hat. It's a bit of a dream of mine actually.

Elephant hat photo with wife: check!

Bye bye Singapore, you were a great place to visit and we loved everything about you except the...



... EXTREME LOG RIDE!!